


All The Little Things

by handahbear



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Depression, Falling In Love, M/M, brief mentions of self harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-25
Updated: 2013-07-25
Packaged: 2017-12-21 08:06:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/897926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/handahbear/pseuds/handahbear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It takes Enjolras a while to notice what truly makes Grantaire Grantaire.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All The Little Things

The first time they meet, Enjolras doesn’t notice the way Grantaire’s eyes light up when he’s talking about something he’s passionate about, or the ink stains on his fingertips, or the fading scars on his wrists. He doesn’t notice the way his nose turns up slightly at the end or the curls of black ink peeking out from the collar of his shirt. Enjolras notices that he appears to be more than a little disheveled, that he smells like a distillery, that he needs to shave, and that he has no qualms about voicing his (cynical, jaded) opinion. He notices that Grantaire is too young to believe in so little.

The first time they meet, Grantaire notices the fire behind Enjolras’s eyes when he launches into one of his speeches. He notices the way his hair curls behind his ears and barely brushes the collar of his shirt. He notices his long, elegant fingers and the perfect slope of his shoulders. He notices that Enjolras is young enough to believe that he can change the world. He notices that he is starting to believe in Enjolras, he who formerly claimed to believe in nothing. 

It takes some time before Enjolras notices the details. He catches sight of the ink and paint relatively quickly. The taped hands lead him to his (correct) conclusion about boxing. He begins to notice that Grantaire is more than just his cynicism and alcoholism, that there is a brilliant mind and a talented artist and a complex person beneath his carefully constructed exterior. He notices that Grantaire cares more than he would have others believe, that even alcohol cannot seem to dim the flame within him. He doesn’t notice the scars until much, much later.

Time passes, and Grantaire notices more. He notices the strain Enjolras tries to hide. He notices that Enjolras has a surprisingly dry sense of humor, that he seems to exist on a steady diet of coffee and the occasional piece of toast. He notices that Enjolras is not as perfect as he thought he was, but that only serves to further his high opinion of him. He notices that he may be falling in love with Enjolras.

It takes Enjolras a little over a year to notice the scars. He doesn’t ask about them; he just knows. After he sees them, things change. He notices the way that Grantaire’s smile doesn’t always reach his eyes. He notices that some days, Grantaire doesn’t talk, that he only drinks. On those days, if he manages to make eye contact, he has found that he can see pure, deep sadness in Grantaire’s eyes. He notices that he wants to make that sadness go away.

Grantaire has no illusions about his chances with a man like Enjolras. Enjolras is whole, unbroken. Why would he ever want someone like Grantaire, someone so flawed, so absolutely broken?

It takes time. It takes time for Grantaire to believe that Enjolras wants him. It takes time for Enjolras to convince Grantaire that he wants to be with him. There are days when Grantaire needs to be reassured of the fact that Enjolras cares about him, loves him, even. Enjolras is always more than happy to provide him with whatever support he needs.

Enjolras had no illusions about depression, or what he thought may be depression. He knew he couldn’t somehow make all of Grantaire’s problems go away with one kiss. Life wasn’t a fairytale. By kissing him, holding his hand, taking him out on a date, making love to him, he couldn’t fix Grantaire. Grantaire’s dependency on alcohol wouldn’t disappear overnight. And he didn’t want to fix Grantaire, because, as he came to realize, he didn’t see Grantaire as broken.


End file.
